TIME TO HEAL ME
2 years ago, I knew again, it was time to heal me.
To uncover the real me, before they hurt me.
To become what was beneath the layers, the me beneath the pain they caused, in the most intimate way.
To discover all that was lost through the years, a child's innocence, and now my adult fears, a fear for my future, that has faded but never really goes away.
I long to love my body, not just my soul.
To let go of crippling fears and the many what if's, to finally take back the reigns and take control.
Time to Heal Me
To put back together every piece of me
The world needs to see who I am truthfully from the inside out.
I'm on a mission, to love myself the same, if not more, than I love everybody else.
They say my body is a battleground and my attitude is armor.
That little girl has to be let go, she has gotta be set free.
It doesn't make any sense to be at war with the one and only me.
Time to heal me
To put any and all reservations away.
To let someone someday just love me for me,
To put my fears about letting that happen back on the shelf of self-sabotage and self-doubt.
It was time to heal me, from inside out to outside in
and back to the real me again.
I deserve to be ultimately free, the past is done, it is finished.
I'm only giving those who hurt me power if I continue to let myself relive it.
Photo by Jyotirmoy Gupta on Unsplash
Photo by Jyotirmoy Gupta on Unsplash
Time to heal me, in order to live my 11 years in the making dreams.
To help kids just like 10, 11, 12 year old me.
The past is the past, and to continue those dreams,
that is what I absolutely have to live out and believe.
TIME TO HEAL ME
4 words and so much more to me than just a place.
It was 4 safe walls, a listening ear and an honest voice,
Someone who wanted to see me thrive, and ultimately opened that door and gave me that choice.
EMDR and a trauma focus, brought me to it, to bring me through it all.
When I was absolutely sure I would fall and lose it all.
I was ready to put back up every single wall I built, I was reliving what was repressed, and feeling so much misplaced guilt.
AD, I just want to thank you for all that you have done.
For walking me through at my pace, the many times I wanted to just run.
Thank you for not ditching me when I so bad wanted to ditch you
You were determined and successful in ultimately seeing me through.
Thank you for taking my hand through the worst of times, for celebrating victories both big and small.
And believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself, for walking beside me through it all.
While facing pain I didn't even know I had all these years, and hitting many closed doors.
Having someone walk beside me day and night was the reason I came out on top for sure.
Sharing vulnerable moments and breaking through the walls to tears.
I was able to walk through, not avoid, many unseen, unheard, untold fears.
TIME TO HEAL ME, to discover the real me, AND now that the real me is here, I refuse to give my past any power or control over another precious beautiful year.
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